Sunday, August 25, 2013

How To Get Clean in 10 Easy Steps

If you have ever cared for a toddler, then you know that meal times can be a hilarious mess! So today's post is brought to you by a 1-year-old boy... not that other toddlers actually need the advice. ;)


How To Get Clean in 10 Easy Steps

1. Hold up left hand to be wiped. 
2. Hold up right hand to be wiped while smearing clean left hand in high chair tray food.
3. Hold up left hand to be wiped a second time while locating soggy crackers in lap with clean right hand and squishing them between fingers. Quickly rub soggy crackers into hair and eyebrows.
4. Hold up right hand to be wiped a second time while rubbing left hand through the soggy cracker in hair and eyebrows, spreading it into the ear canals if possible.
5. Turn head from side to side while hair, eyebrows, and ears are being wiped, making sure to keep trouble spots well out of reach. Rub hands together to distribute remaining soggy cracker evenly over hands and front of parental shirt.
6. Get one last swipe of food tray residue as the tray is being removed from high chair; rub into freshly wiped hair.
7. Hold up right hand to be wiped a third time while using left hand to spread soggy cracker and food tray residue into parental sleeve or arm hair.
8. Hold up left hand to be wiped a third time while using right hand to pick wads of drying food off bib and toss them on the floor.
9. Continue the dodge-and-weave technique while hair and face are being wiped a second time, while using both hands to squish remaining bib residue between fingers.
10. After parent mumbles the word "whatever" and one is lifted from the high chair, use parental hair, shoulders, arms, face, and chest as a towel to remove about half remaining food residue. Wear the rest of it till bath time.

No comments:

Post a Comment