The Loving Touch

I'm on my third go-around with a toddler.

Kid 3.0 is a budding almost-two-year-old (my very firstest Mr. Boy) who is the human equivalent of Jell-O. I love that kid. The process of getting each child to elementary age in one piece teaches me something new every time.  With my first child, I learned that car seats work best when buckled down with a seatbelt. One day in the car, she was making a weird little squeaky noise I'd never heard before. When I looked behind me, I realized it was because she was getting to experience her very first time being upside down since the womb. Let me just say though, those car seat handles make awesome roll bars. Do not try this at home.

With my second child, I learned that the outcome is precisely the same whether you sterilize the dropped pacifier before giving it back, or whether you just lick it off and rub it on your pant leg… actually nothing happens. She never exploded!

Another thing I keep noticing is that toddlers mimic what their parents do. 

This can be good, bad, or hilarious. Like when I'm going all Jackie Chan with a fly swatter and yelling, "Die, bugs! Die!!" and I hear a little voice behind me holler, "DIE!!! DIE!!" while the child maniacally smacks the floor. Or when we're in traffic and someone honks a horn somewhere, and a child in my back seat yells, "What is WITH you people??"

But lately I've also been getting to experience again how sweet it can be.

I went to the doctor for a checkup today, and Mr. Boy came with me. While the nurse took my vitals, he watched her like a hawk. When the blood pressure cuff went on, he laid his baby soft hand protectively on my other arm and looked at me with concerned question in his eyes. "It's okay, Buddy," I reassured him. After the nurse left the room, he toddled over to the counter, climbed up on the padded bench next to it, and snagged a tissue from the box. He proceeded to dab my forehead, the corners of my mouth, my eyes, and my cheeks with it, all while whispering sweet little babbles of loving care three inches from my face. I relished the sweet scent of his graham cracker breath and baby shampooed hair. Then he sat in my lap and patted my shoulder for a while. After we got home, we played in his room for a few minutes before his nap. He covered me with his blankie, and mimicking the exact process by which I always put him to bed, he spoke his babyish blessing over me and stroked my hair with his little hand. 

When Jesus said that the kingdom of God belongs to such as these, he wasn't kidding!

Leave me a comment! :D

Ten Motherhood Confessions

Motherhood is an adventure, not a science. The evidence...

1. My children regularly eat their siblings' leftovers as a snack.

2. I find a great deal of cleaning motivation from watching Hoarders.

3. That little first grader with bits of oatmeal in her hair, running to catch the bus, wearing one sock and carrying her shoes? Yeah, that was my kid.

4. I often eat chocolate first, then pray when I feel a little better.

5. I've had this happen more times than I can count: Having just imparted a particularly profound nugget of grown-up wisdom to my eager young children, I realize they ran off about five minutes ago and I've been talking to myself.

6. I sometimes stay up later than I should to get some "me time." The next day, I frown more than I smile.

7. I have a dog primarily to clean up food and beverage disasters. She stays busy.

8. I fell asleep in a pile of laundry earlier today.

9.  I've had to look up my own phone number before.

10. During my sleepy days with my third newborn, I came within three seconds of walking out to get the mail with one boob hanging out. 

And there are so many more, but we'll leave those for another post. ;) Things like this are the reason I know God can draw a straight line with a crooked stick. It's only logical that He get the glory for how awesome my kids are turning out.  Can you relate to any of these?

7 Baby Items I Found Pointless

Babies need so much stuff. Seriously. 

I have a few friends who are pregnant and navigating the world of fantastic baby gear, some for the first time, and one who's just getting back into it. There are a ton of decisions to make! One asked me what she should register for, and I made a great list. But as I surfed the websites full of sparkly baby goodies, I kept running across items that made me chuckle, because I remembered how underwhelmingly not useful they were when my Short People were tiny. So I made another list. Here are a few of my less-than-awesome purchases and the reasons I didn't need them. I hope it helps you out. And congratulations for needing to shop in the first place, whether it's for you or someone else!

1. Diaper Genie

Why: Because while they do help somewhat, they really don't get rid of the odor completely. Nobody wants to gaze at their sleeping infant to a background stench of county fair port-a-potty. Take the stink bombs outside right after they happen! It's good to see the sky periodically anyway. 

2. Baby wipe warmers

Why: Because babies adapt to having a cold wipe to the butt pretty early on in life if they're not expecting otherwise. Imagine her shock and ensuing squeals, however, the first time in an echoing public bathroom where no wipe warmer is available. Pass the ear plugs! If you're set on the idea anyway, try folding a wipe and tucking it into your bra to warm against your body while you get out the other supplies and undo snaps. Saves electricity!

3. Baby wash cloths

Why:  Use the ones you already have as long as they're nice and soft. I'm not against wash cloths in general, just those sold for babies, because they're too thin and small.  If you get any of those at all, get maybe one package for wiping your baby's face. But again, that's a big "if."

4. Bottle warmers

Why:  Just in my experience, I almost always managed to get distracted and overheat the milk or food. And it's just one more appliance to take up space on the counter and require cleaning by hand. A nice, big coffee mug half-filled with hot water is just as effective, and I bet you already have one!  Experiment with microwave times until you find one that gets the water to the perfect temp and set the bottle in there. You won't have to worry about it getting hotter and hotter.

5. Pacifier thermometers 

Why: It's an awesome idea, but even babies who like pacifiers are different kids when they're sick. My babes never wanted to keep this kind of thermometer in their mouths, either because they didn't feel good and it wasn't the right binky, their noses were stuffed up and I couldn't get an accurate reading, or because they were nauseated and gagged on it.  The rectal thermometer is touted as the most accurate, but honestly, I'd sacrifice a couple tenths of a degree to avoid being pooped on repeatedly. Get the kind that scans the forehead, trust me!

6. Store-bought hooded bath towels

Why: Store-bought ones such as those made by Circo (Target brand) are made from thin fabric and soak through quickly. That means a wet lap for you, and a chilled backside for the babe. The chillier the baby, the more crying there is!  These towels also usually have huge, dumb appliques on the hoods which are cute, but not absorbent, and tend to get in the way.  You are better off making your own from full-sized, thick, terry towels and maybe decorating the hood with a little bit of baby-themed satin ribbon. Check the web for tutorials such as this one.

7. Crib bumper

Why:  They are so cute and iconic in those online nursery photos. But nowadays, doctors are urging parents to avoid them. See this article for their reasons. For my own part, the bumper just became one more thing to wash when the puke started to fly. A few months later, it became the step ladder for Baby Houdini. I'd rather spare you that heart attack and just say don't bother! 

I'm sure there are many other things I'd find pointless if I went out and looked, but these are the goodies I registered for, thought I needed, and then dismissed after experience proved otherwise. Your own experience will be your best teacher. Just enjoy this time of discovery, wonderment, and of course, shopping!

How To Get Clean in 10 Easy Steps

If you have ever cared for a toddler, then you know that meal times can be a hilarious mess! So today's post is brought to you by a 1-year-old boy... not that other toddlers actually need the advice. ;)

How To Get Clean in 10 Easy Steps

1. Hold up left hand to be wiped. 

2. Hold up right hand to be wiped while smearing clean left hand in high chair tray food.

3. Hold up left hand to be wiped a second time while locating soggy crackers in lap with clean right hand and squishing them between fingers. Quickly rub soggy crackers into hair and eyebrows.

4. Hold up right hand to be wiped a second time while rubbing left hand through the soggy cracker in hair and eyebrows, spreading it into the ear canals if possible.

5. Turn head from side to side while hair, eyebrows, and ears are being wiped, making sure to keep trouble spots well out of reach. Rub hands together to distribute remaining soggy cracker evenly over hands and front of parental shirt.

6. Get one last swipe of food tray residue as the tray is being removed from high chair; rub into freshly wiped hair.

7. Hold up right hand to be wiped a third time while using left hand to spread soggy cracker and food tray residue into parental sleeve or arm hair.

8. Hold up left hand to be wiped a third time while using right hand to pick wads of drying food off bib and toss them on the floor.

9. Continue the dodge-and-weave technique while hair and face are being wiped a second time, while using both hands to squish remaining bib residue between fingers.

10. After parent mumbles the word "whatever" and one is lifted from the high chair, use parental hair, shoulders, arms, face, and chest as a towel to remove about half remaining food residue. Wear the rest of it till bath time.