4 Reasons I Still Say "Happy Holidays"

I'm about to show you something super controversial... Ready? Here it is:

Red Starbucks cups? Yes. If you find them both attractive and useful for hot beverages, and you're mystified as to why everyone's got their panties in a bunch about them, then you don't need to read this post. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you. If you find these cups offensive, or questionable, or sad, because they are void of Christmas imagery, kindly read on.

It's that time of year again. I don't mean football. I mean that time of year when people start grouching about the stores putting out their Christmas displays too soon, fighting over which is the right day to start playing Christmas music, and my personal favorite... firing up their "Merry Christmas" campaigns. As in, "Merry Christmas" is the only correct way to greet someone at Christmastime. You might have guessed that I could do without everything I just listed. But for this post, I'm going to focus on just the last one. For some reason, it seems like a number of Christians are willing to be quite bristly about the phrase, "Happy Holidays." But I still love to hear it and say it. Here's why:

1. Not all holidays are Christmas. 

And Happy Holidays to you, sir. :)

It's certainly appropriate to wish someone a "Merry Christmas" around Christmas time. But you have a very narrow view indeed if you believe that everyone else is putting the same level of emphasis on December 25th as you are. You have neighbors celebrating Winter Solstice, Festivus, Channukah, and Kwanzaa. And guess what? They care about those days… a LOT. I'm not insisting you celebrate everyone else's traditions, or even agree with them. However, I am suggesting that you extend an olive branch. Do what you can to let others know you care, acknowledge that they are different, and don't reject them as people because of those differences. Treat others the way you want to be treated… haven't I heard that somewhere before? Oh yes, from the Christ of Christmas.

I personally plan to celebrate many holidays (and say "Happy Holidays!" to many people) in the upcoming months. Here's the short list:

Nov. 8th—Aid and Abet Punsters Day (Yesss! "Abet" you'll celebrate it now, too. Nyuk nyuk.)

Nov. 13th—World Kindness Day

Nov. 14th—Lighten Up Day

Nov. 21st—World Hello Day

Nov. 28th—National Flossing Day

Nov. 30—Stay Home Because You're Well Day

Dec. 1—Eat A Red Apple Day

Dec. 5—Bathtub Party Day

Dec. 7—Pearl Harbor Day

Dec. 9—National Pastry Day

Dec. 13—International Children's Day

Dec. 16—National Chocolate Covered Anything Day

Dec. 18—Bake Cookies Day

Dec. 19—Look For An Evergreen Day

Dec. 21—Look on the Bright Side Day

Coincidentally, Humbug Day is on Dec. 21st as well, but I won't be celebrating it. If you plan to, we can still be friends. 

2. Taking the time to wish ANYbody a happy ANYthing is an act of kindness that should not go unheeded. 

People can't tell by looking at you what your beliefs are (unless you're cutting them off in traffic with a Jesus fish on the back of your car). They don't know which of the various holidays you plan to celebrate. So insisting they pick the word "Christmas" when they greet you is a bit passive-aggressive in this culture, don'tcha think? Imagine getting a dramatic eye roll after saying "Merry Christmas" to an atheist. Awkward, right? Don't make other people feel like that. The phrase "Happy Holidays" is right up there with, "Have a nice day" and "Enjoy your weekend." Wouldn't you normally smile and say "thank you"? You wouldn't raise an eyebrow and pass some kind of mental judgment on someone who wished you a nice day. So… don't do it to people who wish you a nice November/December/January time of gladness, in whatever form it takes! This is Basic Kindness 101. Besides, holidays (all of them) are supposed to be about remembering something. Christmas is about Love Incarnate. Be a reflection of that by at least showing some friggin' flexibility about greetings.

3. People in general need to get some historical perspective.

If you really want to insist that people follow "ye olde" Christmas traditions to the letter, then you should probably be aware of several things…  

First, the original sense of the word "merry" used to mean "drunken frivolity." So you're actually wishing them a day of frat-style boozing and gluttony. But hey, let's be traditional.

Second, the word "holiday" comes from the Old English for "holy days" so it's not exactly less Christian to use it. Similarly, the word "Xmas" hasn't really taken any liberties, because it comes from the Greek letter "X" (or chi), which was the first letter used to spell Christ. 

But what about the word "Christmas"? That's in the Bible, right? Actually, no. It comes from the Old English words Cristes moesse or "Christ Mass." Like "celebration for Christ." But people didn't even start using it, or institute the official celebration we recognize today, until 300+ years after Christ was born. I can imagine He is quite annoyed about all those birthday parties the early Christians forgot to throw for Him. (Not really.) The story of His birth is in Scripture as a matter of historical record, as proof that He fulfilled multiple prophecies made centuries beforehand. This is a gift to us, to build our faith, not a celebration requirement to get into heaven, or even a word we're required to say. So relax!  

Third, historically speaking, it's more likely that Jesus was born sometime in late summer or early autumn. The early Church actually hijacked December 25th to celebrate Christ's birth because it was already the date of a pagan festival celebrating the birth of the sun. There's nothing like having to choose which party to attend to make a social statement for Christ! In modern times, this implies that you should be throwing Jesus a birthday barbecue in September. You haven't been? How careless of you. I'm sure He's annoyed. (Not really.) 

"Set up the holiday tree right over there, guys!"

4. To people who don't have Christ to begin with, saying, "Keep Christ in Christmas" makes you sound like a paranoid jackass. 

The exact verbiage with which you greet a total stranger in a grocery store has no bearing on whether Christ will be part of their Christmas. That's because they have not submitted themselves in faith to His authority. Their world view has nothing to do with His kingdom. He doesn't slide off his throne one millimeter for every person who says "Happy Holidays," but you're making it sound like He does. His kingdom would be a flimsy thing indeed if a "Merry Christmas" button campaign was all it took to make the world right again. His miraculous birth, sinless life, innocent death, and conquering resurrection are what make the world right again. And someday, everyone will acknowledge that. The Holy Spirit will make that happen. Not Christmas greeting nitpickers.

M e R r Y  C h R i S t M a S

and

H a P p Y  H o L i D a Y s ! ;)

References for further reading:

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/geneveith/2013/12/merry-christmas-vs-happy-christmas/

http://www.holidayinsights.com/moreholidays/december.htm

http://dictionary.reference.com/help/faq/language/e05.html

http://www.ucg.org/the-good-news/biblical-evidence-shows-jesus-christ-wasnt-born-on-dec-25

10 Ways to Stop Bad Behavior Before It Starts

This blog post is for myself, primarily. Feel free to eavesdrop if you wish! 

These are parenting lessons I've learned both from experience with my Short People and from people far wiser than I am. 

I tend to operate best when I live by these principles, but I often forget them until after a potentially awesome moment has passed with a sad trombone "wah-wah-wwaaahhhh" of mediocrity. So I've decided to collect them all in one place, for my own reference. Maybe they'll help you too! It's just extra awesome that they all somehow start with the same letter. *wink wink!*

Here's what happens. 

I get absorbed in a task that has me completely preoccupied. I'm making good progress, and then it occurs to me that my children are eerily quiet. I go into the next room, and there's the reason: a wayward child has procured a bag of Oreos and a box of Sharpies to create an original masterpiece on his bedroom wall! Uhhh… for example.

My best move at that point is to take pictures. Y'know, for… posterity. Then I suck it up and bust out the Magic Erasers. Because when stuff like this happens, I know that the blame rests squarely on my own shoulders. I was tuned out.

But this doesn't just happen with little kids. It happens in a more insidious way with my older ones who start to drift away from me emotionally or relationally. It doesn't happen overnight. Little by little, their moorings loosen until I realize their chores are in an awful state or they're trying to solve matters of the heart by watching My Little Pony. Where was I?

So here's the battle plan: 

10 big ideas to parent PROactively, rather than REactively… because so much poor behavior begins way before I see it.

1. Interact

I can interest myself in my child's world through interaction. 

Just like me, my child has an inner life, big feelings, opinions, perceptions, loves, and desires. He is building his world whether I'm ready or not—so we'll build a world together! My curiosity and enthusiasm for who he is will keep our hearts close. It will grant me precious influence and trust.

2. Invest

I must devote time to care for my child emotionally, spiritually, and physically. 

I find that a huge percentage of the cases when misbehavior is a result of "acting out," it's because I've got a hungry or sad child who needs investment and I've let them go too long without it. I know it sounds absurdly obvious, but I find it easy to forget even the simplest things sometimes, like a snack. Why is this child so cranky?? Oh yes, because he ate three hours ago and he's in a growth spurt. He's too little to say, "Mother dear, it would appear that my blood sugar is crashing and my brain is awash in stress hormones." Keeping an eye on the clock so I know when his last calories and decent romp in the dirt happened is something I can do. I just have to do it. 

Why is this girl so mopey? Oh yes, possibly because she got off the bus an hour ago and I have said nothing to her but "Do your homework," "Feed the dog," and "Put your backpack away." She needs to hear that I missed her. She needs to tell me that the class had to undergo group punishment for the offenses of some. She needs a hug! Taking time to look into her eyes and hear her is something I can do. I just have to do it. 

3. Include

I can involve my kids in my daily activities as much as possible. 

This is not new advice, but I need to heed it more often! All my kids, but particularly my littlest, start acting persnickety when they feel just plain left out!
My pastor just made a comment last weekend that God is a good dad who likes to take his kids to work with him. We don't make his job any easier; in fact, we often make it harder. But he lets us help because of how much we grow from it. That resonated with me because I tend to focus on how much longer a job will take if I have "helpers." I forget that I can be using those times as an opportunity to instill a love for hard work and camaraderie in my kids. Plus, if they're with me, then I can see what they're doing at all times!

4. Instruct

It's only fair that I train my child to do what is expected, step by step. 

This seems obvious too, but I can't count the number of times I've been frustrated that my kids didn't "know any better" about how to act. Why should they? How does this information get into their heads? I have to put it there. Of course they chew with their mouths open. Of course they leave their belongings everywhere. Of course they touch ALLOFTHETHINGS. It's human nature! If I want a different result, I'll have to teach them strategies for how to get there. I'll have to train their memories over time. 

How would I feel if I got a new job that required on-the-job training, and immediately got into trouble with my boss for not knowing what to do? I'd feel like I'd gotten the shaft! I would want to be trained and given feedback to improve, not learn by trial and error by being yelled at every time I made a mistake. 

In the same way, my tender kiddos learn best when I teach them what to do in a positive, low-pressure environment. I can have them restaurant ready a lot faster by mocking up a few candlelight dinners at home and letting them practice than I can by tossing them into a noisy, crowded dining room full of strangers and then yanking out my hair when they act like they've never been in a restaurant before! 

5. Illustrate

I absolutely must model the behavior I'm asking from my child. 

This one sucks sometimes. It pokes my lazy bone a bit. I really shouldn't be eating cereal straight out of the box if I've just told my kids not to. I should keep my own room clean if I expect my kids to clean theirs. Ouch, right? I know. Yes, parents have authority and kids don't. Parents could technically get off the hook with some kind of philosophical argument here. But every time I make myself a hypocrite, I am courting rebellion. It's only a matter of time before intelligent kids ask why I don't live what I teach. So I'd better live what I teach. If I'm not prepared to do that, best not to draw a line. 

6. Inspect

Gotta make sure that what I've asked them to do is actually being done. 

This is where I often fall down. Just issuing orders is not enough when we're dealing with human beings. I have to follow up! I hate to say it, because I love my kids, but they will naturally tend toward ease and forgetfulness. Count on it. I can hand a child a carrot and tell her to eat it, but if I never check on her, I will find that same carrot shriveled up in a drawer six months later. Not that I've had this happen, mind you.

Kids need accountability. I need to check in respectfully and often. Get them understanding that nothing gets by me. They WILL be caught, because Mom has (loving) eyes everywhere.

7. Insulate

It's important I respect my kids' temptation limits, and bear them in mind. 

Remember that part of the Lord's Prayer where Jesus teaches us to request of God, "Lead us not into temptation"? After having kids, I'm starting to have a theory about why that is. I know I'm weak in certain areas. What if, on the way to an important meeting, I encounter a room full of Krispy Kreme donuts and screens playing Doctor Who reruns? I'd have a real fight on my hands getting to that freakin' meeting. What if I knew that if I called ahead, someone could lock that door so I don't even have to see all that irresistible, frosted, wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey goodness? What a relief that would be! 

God tells us he never gives us more temptation than we can bear, but with any temptation, he provides a way of escape. I need to be that same kind of parent. Resisting temptation is a skill that has to be developed over time. Put too much tantalizing stuff out there, and the poor kid will feel defeated. Child-proof the house TOO much, and they never get to practice. This is where planning and paying attention have to happen, and laziness on my part will absolutely kill my efforts. I'll have to watch carefully in order to know my child, know what they're ready to take on. Put some stuff away, leave some stuff out. Cheer when they succeed. Make them sit in one spot if they're not ready to roam the house with a PB&J sammy. Insulate them from taking on too much temptation so they can succeed. 

8. Influence

I have to remember that the things my kids take in will shape their behavior. 

Many people have studied and written on the effects of sugar, chemicals, poor nutrition, violent media, and a host of other factors on kids' behavior. So I'm not here to rehash that stuff. I need to educate myself in those areas and then act accordingly. That's what common sense is for. Kids will generally mimic what they see on TV, and many kids are sensitive to the foods they eat. Do these things determine their fates with absolute fatalistic certainty? Nope. But they don't leave them untouched either. 

If I want my kids sparring and busting ninja moves on each other, by all means, I'll turn on movies full of action sequences. If I want my daughter waiting for a prince to come kiss her and planning her wedding day like it's the grand finale of her life, then I'll break out the princess flicks. I've seen both of these happen within a predictable 15-minute window of the closing credits.

But influence isn't just about what to avoid. I can turn it to the positive, too.

I can influence creativity by providing toys and art supplies that require imagination. I can nurture gratitude by creating opportunities to serve and give to others. I can surround my kids with people who are worth emulating. Because they will emulate! 

9. Independentize 

Yes, that is a word. I looked it up. 

This means I'm gradually training my kids to handle being alone, while building my trust in them. "Character is who you are when nobody's watching." I can't always watch. Someday my kids will be on their own. I can't let that day sneak up on me. I have to plan for it now. Yes, this means giving them more and more responsibility and less and less supervision. But it doesn't just mean trying not to hover while (somewhat suspiciously) hoping they come through. It means that even now, before they're ready, I can ignite their imaginations with a vision of what gaining another's trust means. I can inspire them with the privileges that maturity brings. I don't have to force them into early adulthood, but I certainly don't have to neglect them into lingering adolescence either. Milestones are exciting, and I'm going to be a great tour guide. 

10. Intercede

I need to pray for my kiddos!

The easiest, the hardest, the most important one of all. All the mom mojo in the world isn't going to be enough without this important step. Nuff said.

Worry Worry Worry Worry Worry

This Complete Breakfast - Day 7

Do you worry?

It seems like there's never a shortage of things to worry about. Health. People. Money. A zombie apocalypse. Heck, I'm married to an airline pilot. I could worry every day he's up there flying that he's going to become a headline. Here's another thing to worry about: The Bible says HERE that worrying is a sin. Bam. Now we can worry about worrying! Even the word "worry" looks worried to me. And it sounds worried. Say the word "worry" out loud several times and you realize it's a great onomatopoeia… doesn't it sound like something spinning out of control with pieces flying off in every direction?

That's about how the ancient Greeks defined it.

For reals. To them, the idea of worry or anxiety meant being drawn in different directions, shattering a person's soul into pieces. Conversely, their idea of peace was wholeness—that all the necessary pieces of life were joined together to form a whole. Picture your soul like a big jigsaw puzzle. Peace means you're put together and have a complete picture. Worry means there are pieces of you in the couch cushions, under the fridge, in the back of the closet, mixed with Cheerios in the cup holder of a minivan, and a few pieces might even be on their way to Goodwill in a bag of used toys. You're all over the place and you can't get yourself together! Your loving heavenly Father doesn't want that for you.

Maybe that's why he told us to do something rather unusual… He wants us to throw stuff on him.  You heard me. Throw stuff. On him. Here you go:

"Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you." —1 Peter 5:7

Ever heard that song from the 1970s that was written about this verse? 

"I cast all my cares upon you; I lay all of my burdens down at your feet. 

And any time I don't know what to do, I will cast all my cares upon you." 

That is a fantastic song, and I sang it incessantly as a kid. Mostly because it was pretty to harmonize on. If you haven't heard it, it's a slow, calm lullabyish kind of song. (If you're super curious, you can listen to it HERE.) And that's great for after you've calmed down. But what about when you're still full of that anxiety and you haven't cast it yet? What does it even mean to cast something, anyway? It means to hurl it forcefully away from you! Give it the old fling-boogie action! Heave-ho it like a desperate shot from half court at the final buzzer! Hard to capture that sentiment in a lullaby. I think we need sound effects, personally. Let me know if you come across a good one for this.

Why does God want us to hurl all our crap on him?

Because he's our great big Daddy and he cares for us. He takes a special interest in each of his kids and is concerned by what concerns us. Not to mention, he can handle it so much better than we ever could. We aren't meant to carry worry and anxiety in our hearts. It eats away at us like a cancer, literally making us sick, fracturing us into splinters in proper Greek fashion. We are weak. God is strong. He wants us to experience the wholeness of peace, and protect us from stomach ulcers and panic attacks. His command requires our complete trust and belief, because worry is an act of unbelief. But who better to trust than the One who cares for us most?

Okay Lord, get out your catcher's mitt…

Leave me a comment! :D

"Sometimes I Feel Ugly..."

My little Winkerbean just said that to me today.

"Sometimes I feel ugly, and I want to hide." My heart broke when I heard those words come out of that pretty little mouth. Those beautiful, perfect, cupid's bow lips that I used to steal kisses from when she was a sleeping infant were now speaking of ugliness. Her own ugliness? I realized two earth-shattering things at the same time.

First, my little girl isn't so little any more.

Little kids think about life inside their little universe. They delight in the tickle of ladybug feet across their palms. They chase bubbles. They are just beginning to understand that there are other people in the world besides themselves and their immediate family. I have yet to see a little kid who is self-conscious. Winkerbean isn't little. She's starting to consider how other people see her. She's going to be nine years old before I blink.

The second thing I realized was my ghastly mistake...

I'm horrified when I think about it. I have tried on clothes with a disgusted look on my face, muttering under my breath that I should just wear a potato sack instead, to hide my ugly body. I have yanked out gray hairs and bemoaned the fact that I'm getting old too soon and don't want to lose my pretty brunette locks. I have compared myself to others whom I find more attractive than myself and given in to discouragement... all while my daughter looks on and absorbs everything. And now, with tears streaming down my face, I realize what I've done. I've taught her that what she wears is for other people to see and appreciate. That getting older is not an honor, but a dreadful curse. That the way to tell if you're beautiful is to look around you and see how you compare.

I would never say those things to her. But I have... just not with words.

This is one more example of how the student becomes like the teacher. But this teacher has just repented. I know my loving heavenly Father is heartbroken to hear me utter words of ugliness... when I believe the lie that my beauty comes from the outside. Just as heartbroken as I am when my little girl says those things about herself. It sounds preposterous to me that my little girl feels ugly, but it is no less preposterous when I feel it. The truth is, God made us both, and he's the one who gets to decide what ugly is.

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. 

Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." —Psalm 139:4

I'm not on the ugly list. Maybe I am to some people, but not to my Creator.

"For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, 

but the LORD looks on the heart.” —1 Samuel 16:7b

I'm so sorry, little Winkerbean. I made a mistake, and I was so wrong. I AM beautiful... because God made me that way. I forgot that. God help me, I need to be a better example of that from now on. You are a breathtaking, lovely girl, inside and out, because God made you that way. You have a beautiful smile, a beautiful mind, and a beautiful heart. Don't ever hide that.

This Is the Day

We hear this verse by itself a lot. 

We hear people sing it in a song, or say it to someone else who's looking a little mopey. We mutter it under our breath when the baby's crying, a pot's boiling over, and we've just dropped an entire plate of spaghetti on the floor. It's almost a way of saying, "I hate this day, I can't handle it, but I'm supposed to have a good attitude. So I'm going to put on a smile and remind myself that I should be happy right now, because God put me in this situation!" We also see this verse plastered over breathtaking photos of God's creation and made into cute little fridge magnets. The mistaken and dangerous notion that crops up is, "cheer up, because God's creation is pretty to look at. Check out this sunrise or those daisies. Now, don't you feel better?  Every day is a great day, simply because God made it." 

 Yeah, that'll cheer you right up. Or not.

It's true that every day is a day that God has made. And it's also true that we are told to be glad when trials come our way… not necessarily "glad" to be going through them, but glad that God is using them to make us more like Jesus. But some days we just don't feel like rejoicing and being glad. Nobody feels glad when they lose their job, their marriage, or their child. Nobody felt like rejoicing when our country was attacked and thousands of innocent people died fiery deaths in the World Trade Center towers. Especially since Scripture is clear that there is "a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance," is this verse really saying that we're required daily to rejoice and be glad?

I don't think so. 

If you get out your Hebrew dictionary (because everybody's got one), and look up this little word for "made," you'll see the meaning it was trying to get across: "accomplished."  This is the day the Lord has accomplished? That sounds a bit bigger than just making a day happen. It sounds like he was busy… but doing what? Let's back up and read it again, only with the four verses that come before it: 

This is the gate of the LORD;

the righteous shall enter through it.

I thank you that you have answered me

and have become my salvation.

The stone that the builders rejected

has become the cornerstone.

This is the LORD’s doing;

it is marvelous in our eyes.

This is the day that the LORD has made;

let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Did you catch it? Did you figure out what day we're actually celebrating?

If you're still waking up, I'll help you out. Think about this part… "This is the gate of the Lord; the righteous shall enter through it." The gate? THE Gate? As in the gate mentioned in John 10:9? 

"I [Jesus] am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved."

Now consider the next part… "The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone." THE Cornerstone? As in, the cornerstone mentioned all over the Bible, such as in Acts 4:11? 

"This Jesus is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders, which has become the cornerstone." 

This Psalm is all about Jesus saving us!

Jesus is the gate, the only way to God. He is our cornerstone. He answers our prayers. The day he made us righteous by giving us his righteousness, the day he became our salvation… that really WAS marvelous! What a staggering accomplishment on his part! That's something worth rejoicing over!

So even though those days will come when you're stuck in situations that make you feel hopeless, you don't have to try to fake happiness in the midst of those times. Because you have something better instead, something truly worth celebrating… the day the Lord accomplished your rescue. Let us rejoice and be glad in THAT!

How Jesus Is Our Stick in the Mud

This Complete Breakfast - Day 5 

Thanks for joining the Short People and me for our morning discussion! Look for more discussions under the "This Complete Breakfast" tab if you'd like to follow along with organized links rather than scrolling through posts. ;)

"I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, 

he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." —John 15:5

We have several grapevines in our yard... 

This verse makes so much sense when we think about the way the grapevines grow. Before there were ever any grapes, or even any branches or leaves, there had to grow that thick vine at the center. It's the oldest and strongest part of the plant, and it never moves from that spot. It brings the life-giving water and nutrients up from the soil. The sap flows from it into the crazy, young branches that go shooting out all over the place. During spring and early summer, the grape plant quadruples in size as the branches seem to take on a life of their own, changing almost by the hour. It's hard to believe, when you push back all that thick foliage, that it's actually that humble little stick in the mud, covered in crusty bark, that's feeding life to all those fancy leaves and loads of heavy, plump grapes. One of those branches might even grow so long that it winds its way several yards through the tangle of branches until it's clear across the grape arbor from where it started!  But if you were to take a pair of shears and cut that branch off from the vine, you would soon know which one it was, because every leaf and every grape along that branch would die. Without that humble little stick, there would be no fruit. There would be no grape arbor at all. 

It's just like that with us and Jesus.

He is that humble beginning to God's family. He is the Firstborn of God, and all the rest of us grow out of him because of his life-giving presence. God's family has grown fast, just like the grape arbor does every year, but every single one of us can trace our lives back to Jesus. He's the one who created us and continues to sustain us, hold us up, and make it so we can bear fruit. We are his branches. 

What does it mean to abide in him?

Simply put, to abide means to stay. It means to not allow anything to get in the way of our connection to him. We can stay connected to him by talking to him all throughout the day, and by looking into his Word like we're doing right now. It can also mean that if something gets between us and Jesus, to make it right. That might mean confessing sin and apologizing to him, forsaking that choice and deciding to obey him from now on. It might mean giving up something that makes it harder for us to worship Jesus. If we don't have time for him because we're playing too many games or have too many distractions, it's time to give up those distractions. We need that time with Jesus to keep allowing his life to flow through us and help us bear fruit. 

He abides in us too? What does that mean?

It means he stays with us! He keeps pure, unbroken fellowship with us. He promised that he would never leave us, but that the Holy Spirit would make his home in us and continue to be a constant influence on us. He continues to lift us up, speak to us, and help us get rid of sin in our lives. This is like the water and nutrients that flow from the vine into the branches and produce all those fat, juicy grapes. His life flows into us and produces in us love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.  

None of that happens without Jesus. Just like there are no branches or grapes without the vine. 

Temptations Are God's Idea?

This Complete Breakfast - Day 4

This is part of a series of morning discussions I have with my sweet girlies before school. Feel free to join us, pass it on to a friend, or leave us a comment. I hope you have a blessed day!

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he 

will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide 

the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. —1 Corinthians 10:13

Imagine that you're sitting in school and your teacher hands out a test. 

On this test are questions about everything you've been taught so far. The number of questions you get right on this test will show how much you've really learned, and how much you've forgotten. Also imagine that right next to you is the answer key. You know, the teacher's book where all the answers are written in pink? It's sitting right there. All you have to do to get 100% on the test is open that book and look at the answers. All you have to do is cheat.

The "temptation" that this verse is talking about can be both of those things. 

Sometimes it can be like a test… a test that shows how strong your faith is, or how well you obey God when he asks you to do something hard (that's known as character). Other times it can be an enticement to sin, where you have to make a choice between right and wrong.  When does temptation happen? When people around us are sinning. When something bad or scary happens. When what's easiest isn't always what's best. This is hard stuff! There will be both tests and chances to sin, and we have to make a choice how we will respond with our attitudes and actions. How are we going to manage it?

This verse is reassuring, because it tells us three great things. 

1. There isn't a single test or sin choice that hasn't already happened to somebody else. 

Many other people are facing the same hard choices we face. In fact, the Bible even tells us that Jesus himself was tempted in all of the same things, but never sinned. What a great comfort that Jesus knows exactly what we're going through!

2. God won't ever make you face a temptation that is too hard to overcome. 

That means he won't put a 12th grade exam in front of you if you're only in third grade! It also means that you won't be too baffled to make the right call when it comes down to whether to sin or obey. The right choice will be clear. Even if you don't have the strength by yourself to do the right thing, he will give you the power to do it.

3.   There will always be an escape route out of trouble. 

God will provide you with a new destination, a path that takes you in the right direction, away from sin and away from danger… toward success.

Temptations—both tests and chances to sin—don't have to turn out badly. They are God's idea, for our good! Like a great teacher and Dad, God isn't just going to fill our heads with nice facts about himself and how great it is to obey him. He's going to give us chances to try them out in obedience, to see that they really work. This increases our faith in him. Don't be scared of temptation and trials. These can be awesome times that bring great glory to God! 

To Hear My Name

Mr. Boy is almost two. 

He's in that charming stage when the vocabulary is expanding by the day while the pronunciation is adorably inaccurate. He's learning all the words he finds important first…  Tea (which is any drinkable liquid). Eat. Dump Truck. He knows many, many words that he can't yet say, but he can point to them. And for every word he needs but doesn't know, there's always a sound effect to fall back on. 

He's got his family members all sorted out.

His sisters are "SeeSee" and "Didi" and they go on the "rrrrrrrRRRRRrrmmmmththbtbtbt!!!" every day to school. "Dah-ee" puts on his "shew" and his "hatch" and goes out to fly his "sssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhffffffhheewwwwwwwww!!!" Everyone's sorted out. 

Everyone except me.

Mr. Boy doesn't say my name. He doesn't say "mama" or even "mah." He doesn't seem to know what to call me. 

The other day, The Captain asked him, "Do you want to go for a bike ride?

"Yeah!" he cheered.

"Okay, can you say bye-bye to Mommy?"

He blew a kiss. "Bye-bye, Dump Truck."

I guess I should feel pretty special since dump trucks are THE best thing ever in his mind.

We do baby roll call occasionally to see if he can say all of our names. The Captain points to each of us and says, "Who's that?" Mr. Boy will say each name in turn. He'll even point to himself and say "Beebee!" 

Then The Captain points to me and says, "Who's that?" 

Mr. Boy smiles. "Wassat?"

"This is Daddy. Now who is this?"

Another smile. "Kweekwee bastutat!"

"No, this is Mama. Can you say, 'Mama'?"

Huge smile this time. "Dubai! Wee-shweebee-dat!" 

"No. MAHH-MA." The Captain enunciates slowly while pointing at me.

"BEEEEE-BEE." Mr. Boy mimics in the slow drawl while pointing at himself. 

I look into his big blue eyes. "Buddy, don't you want to say, 'Mama'?"

He leaps into my arms and says "Awwwwww." He hugs my neck and pats my hair with his grubby little palms. I'll take it.

What is it about this, though? Why does it matter to me so much?

I know my little guy loves me. I see it in the smiles and the hugs. I see it when he drags out a huge board book and backs into my lap. I see it when he looks intently into my face after I've been crying and strokes my cheek, earnestly assuring me that "we tree ba tabba tot, she kweekweesheeshee." I appreciate that. Especially since it's so true. 

But I want to hear him say my name. 

It's not that I'm dissatisfied with my son. I love him to pieces no matter what he calls me. I wouldn't love him more if he got this right. It's just a hole that will have to wait to be filled. It's a tiny hole with a tiny sadness inside it, but it's there. And that sadness isn't being wasted, because I think I just understood something about God my Father…

He loves to hear me say his name. In fact, he asks me to!

Oh give thanks to the LORD; call upon his name;

make known his deeds among the peoples!

Sing to him, sing praises to him;

tell of all his wondrous works!

Glory in his holy name;

let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice!

Psalm 105:1-3

The name of the LORD is a strong tower;

the righteous man runs into it and is safe.

Proverbs 18:10

Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;

worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness.

Psalm 29:2

The name of the Lord is a big deal in the Bible, and rightly so. 

We should call on his name, often and loudly. Because it's a wonderful name, deserving of praise. Because it's a safe place to rest our hearts. Because he deserves it. And, I think, because he loves to hear his children say his name. I'm going to go say his name to him right now... because now I know how much it will warm his heart.  

The Evil Queen Attitude

This Complete Breakfast - Day 3

Here's another morning Bible discussion designed for kiddos. Praying you have a blessed day. :)

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility 

consider others better than yourselves.” --Philippians 2:3

What is selfish ambition?

Having ambition means wanting something and being ready to work hard to get it. Having ambition isn’t always a bad thing. It can help you reach a goal. It’s when it becomes selfish that it becomes a sin. Being selfish means you care about yourself more than anyone else. If you have selfish ambition, that means you want to get your own way, even if it hurts other people. You might say things like, “Move out of my way!”

What is vain conceit?

If we act vain, it means that we worry too much about what other people think of us. It means we want others to think we are talented and good-looking, and we might feel pretty upset if they don’t. Being conceited means thinking we are amazing in every way. Everyone has their faults, but if we’re conceited, we have a hard time seeing our faults.

Remember the evil queen in the story of Snow White?

Now there’s somebody full of selfish ambition and vain conceit! She wanted to be the most beautiful in all the land, and worried so much about others thinking she was beautiful that she was willing to kill! She only cared about herself and getting what she wanted, and she did some pretty terrible things in order to be seen as the best. Her attitude was so dangerous that it made her downright evil!

This verse warns us that having the same attitude is also dangerous for us. We might not be polishing a poisoned apple for anyone, but we still might be hurting others by:

• Insisting that our way is better
• Not letting others go first
• Being unwilling to share with others
• Spending so much time thinking about ourselves that we don’t notice that others need help

...and worst of all,

• Focusing on ourselves so much that people don’t want to hear about Jesus because they don’t want to be anything like us!

What’s the answer? How can we avoid having this awful attitude?

The last part of the verse gives us a clue: “...but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” IS everyone else better than you are? Is that what God thinks? Hmmm. That’s not the right question. The truth is, it doesn’t really matter. God simply asks us to consider others better than ourselves. That means treat them better and love them more than we do ourselves. That’s a sure way to keep us from becoming evil villains full of selfish ambition and vain conceit!

How To Be A Geyser

This Complete Breakfast - Day 2

Here's today's breakfast discussion with my Short People. You'll find the links to other discussions in the "This Complete Breakfast" tab at the top. :) 

"Keep your heart with all vigilance, for 

from it flow the springs of life." —Proverbs 4:23

What is a spring?

In this case, it's not a Slinky or a season of the year. It's water, shooting up from the ground! It keeps on flowing, toward the plants, animals, and people around it. If it's good, clean water, then that's a really great thing for living things. They get to drink it and grow big and healthy. 

But what happens if pollution gets into the spring? 

Then pollution goes into the water, and it gets all over everything! Everyone who drinks or even touches that water will get sick! Even a little bit of pollution in the water isn't good, because it can cause sickness that nobody notices for a long time. 

How could someone keep the spring from being polluted?

They would have to protect that spring! They'd have to tell people, "Hey, you can't dump that garbage here, there's fresh water coming out!" They might need to build a fence around the spring to keep animals from pooping in it. They might build a sign to let people know not to swim there. How else could they protect the spring? Are they being mean by making rules to protect the spring? No. They're being kind, because they're trying to keep everyone healthy with clean water. 

This verse tells us that our hearts are like that spring, and need just as much protection!

When Jesus comes to live in our hearts, he gives us new hearts—He starts the spring of fresh, clean water flowing out—and makes us more like him. Our hearts are where he tells us to hide his word, so we can remember it. Our hearts are where we make choices about our behavior… whether they are good choices or bad. The words that we say, and the attitudes we show others are like the water flowing out of our spring. Our words land on others and can bring them life and help them grow. If we let our hearts get polluted by bad ideas, bad thoughts, mean attitudes, or even movies or songs that aren't good for us, those ideas and thoughts are going to come out onto others through our words.

What are some bad attitudes, thoughts, or TV shows that might cause pollution in your heart?

The Bible tells us to protect our hearts from those things.  Part of a parent's job is to help protect your heart... we might do that by making rules for you that act like fences to keep the pollution out.  That way, what comes out of us is good for us and for others!

Photo credit: Wikipedia.org, Castle Geyser

This Complete Breakfast

My two girlies are going back to school today! Waaaahhhhh!!!

It'll just be Mr. Boy and me together all day long, shuttling dinosaurs around in dump trucks, wondering how Winkerbean and Sweet Pea are faring. I'm probably more nervous and excited than they are. What freaks me out the most is that my little sprouts are coming out of the greenhouse and going out into the unpredictable weather of public school. I don't know what they'll see or hear. I don't know if the other kids will like them or pick on them. They could come home with weird ideas! Or… they might just have a great time and learn some stuff. Who can really say?

Time to claim Philippians 4:6-7 one more time. 

"…do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Because guess what… and I'm speaking mostly to myself right now (The Captain has learned never to interrupt me when myself and I are talking)—my little sprouts have got to leave the protection of the greenhouse sometime and start to put down roots; and they're going to come into contact with dirt! Healthy dirt, yucky dirt. All kinds of experiences, even negative ones, are part of shaping them into mature and fruitful people. 

I can't control everything that happens to them.

But I can do my part to prepare them. I can do more than make them the most delectable peanut butter-and-honey sandwiches and write their names in a rainbow of Sharpie colors on every pencil box, folder, eraser, and crayon (yes I did). I can pray for them. I can pray with them. I can pray over them. And I can feed them a good breakfast of carbs, protein, and Scripture.  

I'm going to let you in on our breakfast discussions, as I ask the Holy Spirit to provide me with just a little takeaway that I can give them during breakfast each day. I pray that God will impress the truth of that Scripture upon their hearts as they go about their school day. Even the public schools have realized that kids function much better when they start the day with balanced nourishment. As a result, the schools in our district—maybe yours too—are now serving a breakfast to each child every day, even the ones who've already eaten at home! (I'm going to refrain from venturing my opinion on whether they've actually achieved "balanced nourishment" because that isn't the point.) Even more than physical food, I feel strongly that spiritual food is so important for my Short People. 

Look for our discussions under the "This Complete Breakfast" tab if you'd like to follow the organized links rather than scrolling through posts. ;) And if mornings aren't your thing, they make good bedtime conversations too. I love breakfast at night! My kidlets are elementary school age, so the discussions are based on that maturity level. Of course, feel free to adapt them to your kids! I hope you find them useful. Don't be shy… pass them on if they're a blessing to you. And I love to read your comments!

Here's Day 1, about one of our favorite verses... Joshua 1:9. I thought it fitting to discuss fear on the first day of school!

"This is my command--be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." —Joshua 1:9

What does it mean to be courageous?

It doesn't mean not having fear. It means being willing to face your fear, because you know there's something bigger than what you're afraid of.

Did you know that even Jesus was afraid sometimes? The night before he died on the cross, he prayed and asked God his Father if there was some other way to save people from their sin. He asked if God would change his mind and not make him go through the pain of dying. But God didn't change his mind. He wanted Jesus to go through with it, because his love for us was bigger than his fear of being in pain. So he faced the cross, and he beat death! He won!

What are you afraid of today?

God can help you be courageous and face that fear. He may not take away your fear, but he will give you the strength to go through it. Is it because you are suddenly going to become strong? No. It's because HE is with you, wherever you go. At the end, you'll be able to say, "I was able to be brave because God was with me and helped me."

The Curse

There's a joke on my side of the family…

We call it "The Curse." It began with my grandmother, who, worn down by witty comebacks, told her young daughter in a fit of exasperation, "Someday you're going to have a daughter and she's going to be just LIKE YOU!" To begin with, stories about my grandmother's humor are legendary and retold to this day. She had a sort of warped, random humor that gave her a love of poetry such as this: 

Starkle, starkle, little twink,

Who the heck you are, I think?

I'm not under the ocfluence of inkahol,

Although some thinkle peep I are!

Oh I fool so feelish, I don't know who is me,

And the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.

Grandma was the one who would be going about her day and randomly say things like, "'BALLS!' cried the queen. 'If I had two, I'd be king!'" She was also the one who loved to retell the story of the time she went to the store and couldn't find the Tampax. The cashier called the stock boy over the intercom (yes, the whole store could hear) and asked him to bring some Tampax up to the check stand, but he misunderstood. Thinking she was asking for tacks, he called back over the intercom and asked, "Is that the kind you push in with your thumb, or pound in with a hammer?"

My mother, who is also a bit warped and random, adds punny to the mix for good measure. Her particular brand of humor is a charming, self-deprecating kind of humor. She doesn't mind being the punchline sometimes, and she calls things as she sees them. (For example, dining room light fixtures are not "chandeliers" in our family, they're "table hats.") 

"The Curse" apparently came true when I was born. 

I am JUST like my mother. Although it seems with every generation, a new facet of humor develops. I've taken my grandma's warped randomness, combined with my mother's punniness, then added my own cerebral brand of dryness and an odd (rarely helpful) ability to memorize one-liners to it all. Lord, help me. And one day during my childhood, my mother, worn down by my witty comebacks, told me in a fit of exasperation, "Someday you're going to have a daughter and she's going to be just LIKE YOU!" When Winkerbean was born, I thought I'd escaped. She's just like her daddy. 

But then Sweet Pea was born.

This girl is such a character! She describes being sick as when "your fever is sticking out and your nose is gone." She steps on the scale and says, "I'm just going to weigh my feet." And she threatens her sister with zingers like, "If you don't quit being bossy to me, God is going to turn you into salad dressing!" But is she really just like me? Everyone else says so. That scares me a little, because I realize more and more that it isn't just my humor that I'm passing on. 

"A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained 

will be like his teacher." —Luke 6:40

This verse tells me that I've got little disciples in my house, and when they're fully trained, each one of them will be like me in some way, family "curse" or not. By watching me, are they learning… 

• Not to take themselves too seriously?
• To have a gracious attitude toward others who inconvenience or wrong them?
• To open their Bibles and let God speak to their hearts on a regular basis?
• To persevere in prayer, even through the tough and boring parts of life?
• To put Jesus first before any other earthly loves?

I could get really freaked out about whether I'm a good enough example. But I'm not going to. Why? Because I'm going to screw it up regularly and have to repent before God and my kids. I'm going to have to let them know I've sinned and that by God's grace I'm becoming more and more like Jesus each day. I'm also not going to worry because we're told in Scripture not to be anxious about anything; but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let our requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6) So I thank God for my Short People. I thank God for the weighty responsibility given to The Captain and me to disciple their little hearts. And I ask the Lord to begin his good work in them and bring it to completion himself, so that He, not I, will get the glory for that. 

And the next time Sweet Pea cracks a joke about broken automobiles needing a "CAR-o-practor," I'm just going to hug her and say, "Someday I hope you have a daughter who's just like you."